now as i have started writing, i am gonna continue. explain whats going on right now in my life.
school: its getting harder, more and more is expected. i am more and more stressed out. my class are facing the final exams, and of course our teachers are replaced with crappy students which dont know or understand anything. typical. so we are on our own, meaning that half of the class will fail as hell. poor kids. having dreams. and the systems strangles them and crushes them like insects without blinking once.
friends: my friends are stupid.
family: i have to escape from home now. after school i go to the library read novels and do my homework and visit my mums friend, who have becomed more like my friend and now my second mum or aunt. she totally sees my frustration about mum. my mom can be terrible at times, but yet so caring, loving and giving. i love her and hate her <3
art: i am at my atelier every thursday now working with grafic art, and also making my own snowboard design with airbrush and stencils and everything.
working out: here in norway there is winter, so i go cross-country skiing at the weekends and sometimes after
school. i run on tredmill and swim too. i love working out acctually. i love the energy one get after hard work. that good conciense and satisfaction. ahhh.
of course i am not doing it fir the joy, just to burn fat. had ypu there for a second didnt i? hahaah
music: damien rice. avenged sevenfold. terodon. missy higgins. adele. haha
ok no more haha's
love: am getting closer to him. there is a chance he is interested, i just have to talk more with him and get to know him better.
piano: at the momet i am playing four preludes from bachs well tempered clavier, the concert is in the baptists church in march. all are welcome. not
moood: depressed. schisofrenic as never before. everywhere is turn i see something that i cant look at.
søndag 13. februar 2011
black swan
i went to the movies and saw black swan today. it was reallly good. and thats that. i am as schisoprenic as nina.
lately i have been doing great at school and gotten closer to the guy i am in love with. but tomorrows valentines day, and i am sure he wont call me, text me, come over to me and give me a kiss, or a hug, or send me a mail, or say something to me on facebook, neither mail, chat or write on my wall. fact it i wouldt either. thats the deal .
earlier today i went skiing downhill, except for the skiis; snowboard is ten thousand times cooler. i havent painted it myself yet, but some of the stencils are ready though. i was sith my friend, and she was dreadful .i am sorry but its the truth. i just have to accept that i dont have friends that are up for fun. she always complaned that her ass war hurting, her knees were broken and her arm wrist was smashed too. so after being optimistical and agreeing on buying cards for four hours, she called her mom do come pick us op at halv past three. yeei.
why dodnt people just forget about shit and live a bit in the moment? why the heck cant she shut up and concentrate about the fucking snowboard and maybe discover that its going the opposite direction of the one quested? why cant i be skinny? why dont eating cotton and water and going several miles on cross-countryskiis help? why are my parent so stupid yet so smart? why are there no one to talk to and the ones that i could talk to think that i am not cool and beatifyl enough?
i know. so i get to learn about life. fuck puberty. i want to fuck someone. and get if over with. i want to travel around the world. i want to help a horse give birth, i want to save kids from rumanian orphanages, i want to talk to a stranger and discover my soulmate, i want to be skinny, i want to tuch shark skin, i want to fly like a bird. but my pounds and my head are getting in the way. somehow i have to get writ of them .get supid and skinny. thats the way of living isnit? diesel- the smart have the theories and the stupid has the stories, be stupid. i will. but after school.
lately i have been doing great at school and gotten closer to the guy i am in love with. but tomorrows valentines day, and i am sure he wont call me, text me, come over to me and give me a kiss, or a hug, or send me a mail, or say something to me on facebook, neither mail, chat or write on my wall. fact it i wouldt either. thats the deal .
earlier today i went skiing downhill, except for the skiis; snowboard is ten thousand times cooler. i havent painted it myself yet, but some of the stencils are ready though. i was sith my friend, and she was dreadful .i am sorry but its the truth. i just have to accept that i dont have friends that are up for fun. she always complaned that her ass war hurting, her knees were broken and her arm wrist was smashed too. so after being optimistical and agreeing on buying cards for four hours, she called her mom do come pick us op at halv past three. yeei.
why dodnt people just forget about shit and live a bit in the moment? why the heck cant she shut up and concentrate about the fucking snowboard and maybe discover that its going the opposite direction of the one quested? why cant i be skinny? why dont eating cotton and water and going several miles on cross-countryskiis help? why are my parent so stupid yet so smart? why are there no one to talk to and the ones that i could talk to think that i am not cool and beatifyl enough?
i know. so i get to learn about life. fuck puberty. i want to fuck someone. and get if over with. i want to travel around the world. i want to help a horse give birth, i want to save kids from rumanian orphanages, i want to talk to a stranger and discover my soulmate, i want to be skinny, i want to tuch shark skin, i want to fly like a bird. but my pounds and my head are getting in the way. somehow i have to get writ of them .get supid and skinny. thats the way of living isnit? diesel- the smart have the theories and the stupid has the stories, be stupid. i will. but after school.
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