black swan

i went to the movies and saw black swan today. it was reallly good. and thats that. i am as schisoprenic as nina.

lately i have been doing great at school and gotten closer to the guy i am in love with. but tomorrows valentines day, and i am sure he wont call me, text me, come over to me and give me a kiss, or a hug, or send me a mail, or say something to me on facebook, neither mail, chat or write on my wall. fact it i wouldt either. thats the deal .

earlier today i went skiing downhill, except for the skiis; snowboard is ten thousand times cooler. i havent painted it myself yet, but some of the stencils are ready though. i was sith my friend, and she was dreadful .i am sorry but its the truth. i just have to accept that i dont have friends that are up for fun. she always complaned that her ass war hurting, her knees were broken and her arm wrist was smashed too. so after being optimistical and agreeing on buying cards for four hours, she called her mom do come pick us op at halv past three. yeei.

why dodnt people just forget about shit and live a bit in the moment? why the heck cant she shut up and concentrate about the fucking snowboard and maybe discover that its going the opposite direction of the one quested? why cant i be skinny? why dont eating cotton and water and going several miles on cross-countryskiis help? why are my parent so stupid yet so smart? why are there no one to talk to and the ones that i could talk to think that i am not cool and beatifyl enough?

i know. so i get to learn about life. fuck puberty. i want to fuck someone. and get if over with. i want to travel around the world. i want to help a horse give birth, i want to save kids from rumanian orphanages, i want to talk to a stranger and discover my soulmate, i want to be skinny, i want to tuch shark skin, i want to fly like a bird. but my pounds and my head are getting in the way. somehow i have to get writ of them .get supid and skinny. thats the way of living isnit? diesel- the smart have the theories and the stupid has the stories, be stupid. i will. but after school.