christmas?

isnt it strange that everybody is litteraly going bananas during december, buying all sort of crap and baking all sort of sugarfilled-shit? i mean yes, most of the worl could be considered some sort of christians, and therefore they all have a right to celebrate baby Jesus' birthday. but today christmas isnt about that at all.

christmas for me is as it always is, my family and i are visiting my grandparents, one year my fathers parents and the next year my mothers parents. anyway, my grandmother (who that is depends on the year of course) is cooking all sort of mystical meet in some dark grease or something and serves it all with mushed potatoes and carrots. i litteralily stop eating, or i try to, but since my parents fear that i acctually WONT eat, i cant leave the table unless i have eaten at least one portion. crap. everyday dinner is followed by caramel pudding with and overflow of caramel saus and of course, no way without it: whipped cream. the sweet edition. i get more and more tired of this tradition, to gather as many calories we can during what 5 minutes(?), and enjoying a nice christmas movie afterwards in case our bodies maybe wanted to burn some of that energy. not this years succer! so my lack of happyness is causing me to get grumpy. and me not being able to break the ice anymore, causes my disfunctional family to hit some rough edges. so this will be a bloddy christmas. yes, i luckilly remembered to bring my knife, a tiny knife that is extremly sharp that i use to cut my arms the inside of my thieghs. 

merry holy everyone. think about what christmas really is supposed to be about, and use it for your own good. stop focusing on the god damn turkey or whatever your'e eating, and think about what in the world you would to if it wasnt for jesus and god, that gave you life. do not even think about being unpleased with the presents you got this year. they do not belong to  you anyway.